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  • I Use A Lot Of Public Washrooms… By Kemal Didic

    I Use A Lot Of Public Washrooms… By Kemal Didic

    My name is Kemal and I use a lot of public washrooms… It’s never really a planned event, it’s just something that happens on its own. However, frequent public washroom adventures has given me intimate knowledge of where the best handicapped bathrooms are in Ottawa.  Now I think we can all agree that the handicapped bathroom are the Mercedes Benz of public washrooms. And I – Kemal, really enjoy German engineering….”das” toilet. But in all seriousness, it is a very [...]

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  • My First Job By Adam Waddle

    My First Job By Adam Waddle

    When I was 16, I got my first summer job. I took a two-week class to learn how to be a lifeguard, and afterwards I was hired by the city of Las Vegas to work at a small pool called Hadland. Hadland was a community pool attached to a middle school on 28th Street and Stewart in Las Vegas. Which is the GHETTO. I was a 16-year-old white kid from the suburbs working in the heart of Mexican gang territory, [...]

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  • I Don’t Care How Many Cows Get Molested By Adam Waddle

    I Don’t Care How Many Cows Get Molested By Adam Waddle

      So recently I was chattin’ it up with a friend at work who happened to be a vegan. I asked him if he decided to become a vegan for health reasons, or was it something else that prompted him to cut animal and animal products out of his diet. He told me that it was a moral issue for him. He didn’t eat meat because he didn’t want to be responsible for the death of another living thing. I get that, [...]

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  • Can You Break A Hundred? By Steven Briggs

    Can You Break A Hundred? By Steven Briggs

    I’ve spent a good amount of the recent years threading my way through the United States. One of my favorite spots is the mother of Jazz, the brass blasting New Orleans. This is the city where I first ate fried reptile, and it’s appropriate to yell “SHOW US YOUR TITTIES!” for the currency of beads. Although boobs tend to get most of the attention in New Orleans, I happen to prefer women’s butts which is the reason that I chose to scream ”SHOW US YOUR BUTT, [...]

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  • Knock Knock, Who’s There? The Police By Steven Briggs

    Knock Knock, Who’s There? The Police By Steven Briggs

    I’m awakened to the fist of justice knocking at the front door. I blink my eyes a few times for clarity and notice a pool of blood connecting to Heather’s face. I’ve now come to the realization that Heather and her significant other have gotten into an altercation that invited unwarranted neighbors to hear. Bang! The door is ripped from it’s hinges by a powerful size 11 boot. Two police officers rush in, one officer tells me to stand up and walk outside. It is snowing [...]

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  • Fortune Teller By Steven Briggs

    Fortune Teller By Steven Briggs

    I catch a view of a woman walking by the pool. Her over-grown, cellulite-filled mom ass is jiggling like a bag of potato salad as she moves towards me. She stops moving and I count to three Mississippi before the bag of potato salad she is dragging behind her slowly catches up with the rest of her body. This is Cassandra, my mom’s fortuneteller. Now, you would think that after years of going to one of these fortune tellers, my [...]

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  • Girlfriends VS Dogs By Adam Waddle

    Girlfriends VS Dogs By Adam Waddle

    So my girlfriend asked me one day why I say,”I love you” to my dog more than her. I thought about it for a second, and I came to the conclusion that I said it more to my dog because she was always happy to see me no matter what.

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  • The Genius Of MTV’s The Jersey Shore By Adam Waddle

    The Genius Of MTV’s The Jersey Shore By Adam Waddle

    That’s right, I said the genius of MTV’s the ‘Jersey Shore’. I must say I despise the whole culture, and overall stupidity of the cast members on this show. That being said, for some reason if I sit down and it is on…I will watch it. I started to think that I had contracted a horrible disease, or that my latest snowboarding crash had scrambled my brains. I even consulted a physician to make sure everything was fine, and to [...]

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  • Ban Books About Dogs Dying By Adam Waddle

    Ban Books About Dogs Dying By Adam Waddle

    I read a lot of books now a days, but I wasn’t always a big reader. When I was young I rarely read books, and I blame it on the books that my teachers made me read in elementary school. Three of the novels that I read in elementary school were about dead dogs. The three books were Where The Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, and Sounder.

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