Fortune Teller By Steven Briggs

Fortune Teller By Steven Briggs
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Fortune Teller Steven Briggs
I catch a view of a woman walking by the pool. Her over-grown, cellulite-filled mom ass is jiggling like a bag of potato salad as she moves towards me. She stops moving and I count to three Mississippi before the bag of potato salad she is dragging behind her slowly catches up with the rest of her body. This is Cassandra, my mom’s fortuneteller. Now, you would think that after years of going to one of these fortune tellers, my mom would have had better luck, or that she would have at least realized that this lady had no idea what she was doing. I mean, I could tell fortunes better than this lady. Case in point, had I met Cassandra a couple years earlier, I could have seen into her future and predicted that she would have turned into one wrecking ball of a woman after watching her consume massive amounts of fried duck and mashed potatoes.
As I sat there wondering how many years of this fried duck diet it had taken to accumulate that massive potato salad ass, my thoughts were interrupted by the sudden feeling that I was being watched. As I looked up, I saw Cassandra standing over me, wobbling from side to side and causing a great shade to engulf the 10-foot area surrounding me. As she stared down at me, licking her greasy lips, I could tell that she was looking at me with desire in her eyes, like damsel in distress that wanted a pump action hero to take her upstairs and go to war on her body.
“Steven would you like to have your fortune read?”
“Uhhh…I’m good”
“Are you sure? I brought my cards!”
“I’m sure. I’m kinda just trying to do my own thing right now.”
The fortuneteller starts to say something else, but I can’t hear her. My focus becomes fully locked on the beautiful brunette that just came into my line of sight. She has the most amazing body I have ever seen, piercing green eyes and dimples that complement her model-like complexion. I cut the fortuneteller off mid-sentence,
“Who’s that?”
“The girl with the dimples. I haven’t seen her out here all day.”
“Oh, that’s my daughter.”
Shit, I should have had my fortune read.
Written by Steven Briggs



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